The rest of the story from Summer 2010.

It's time to catch up on life and the unfinished experiences of Summer 2010.

The biggest experience this summer has been my family's departure from our life in Oklahoma. In a sense I can see where my father's death in Spring 2009 marked the beginning of the terminal stage for our time spent in the Sooner State.

Experiencing the death of a parent brings about feelings of mortality and fortunately/UNfortunately, for me, second chances. I say fortunately/UNfortunately because the death of my father has been the most bittersweet event in my lifetime. It brought upon feelings of grief I never could have prepared for; mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually. It also brought upon feelings of liberation because I didn't have to worry about my alcoholic father hurting my family, himself, or me, any longer.

The acceptance stage of grief from dealing with my father's death finally began this summer. Though I accept it, I continue to deal with his loss on a day to day basis. There isn't a day that goes by that one of my five senses isn't jolted, which causes my present state of being to be rattled with memories of my father. Particularly my sense of hearing is sensitive to his memory because his favorite thing to share with me was his love for rock n' roll music. From first hand experience I can say that no one truly gets over the loss of a parent, but in order to continue life, the loss must be something one learns to live within.

I guess that's what acceptance is all about; learning how to cope and live with something you are incapable of changing.

From the time I moved to Texas in January 2010 to today; Friday, August 13, 2010; I can see that I've had a hyper-reaction to not only my father's death, but also from losing a family member to homicide and from my grandfather's death; all of which happened in 2009. This hyper-reaction is the reason I wake up every morning and praise the rising sun, because watching the sun rise means I was given a chance to live another day. I know that sounds a bit overdone, but it's how I feel every day I open my eyes for the first time.

My biggest fear still today, is that the deaths of my three loved ones happened in vain. I cannot live with that notion. For death to happen in vain, in my opinion, means that life existed in vain; without reason. The three lives that were lost last year did not begin or end in vain. I've made it my personal mission to make sure that none of the tragic events from my past life in Oklahoma, including the loss of my three loves ones, do not go written down in the book of life as happening in vain. I plan to do something incredible with my time on this earth and my second chance to live a fulfilling life, despite the unlucky events that have happened. Through my refusal to simply exist without reason, I plan to personally avenge the deaths of my loved ones.

It's an interesting concept I think, for life to be inspired from death.

The hyper-pro-living lifestyle I've chosen to pursue has diffused into my brother Patrick's path, and he left his job a few weeks ago because of how unhappy it made him. When we sat down and talked about the pros and cons of him leaving the job, the final belief that won was; "What's the point of doing something if you're not content with it?" My soul was inspired at how he decided to follow his heart and mind and he didn't allow a belief in money and material possessions rule his life's decisions.

No matter what, at the end of the day
money can be won
money can be made
money can be saved
and money can be lost.

The only thing that always remains intact, without the need for anything except for yourself, is how you feel; good or bad, happy or sad. My brother decided that peace of mind and making his heart's true dreams and desires a priority were worth risking it all; leaving a stable paycheck and job security so he could find real happiness and have more time to work on the goals he truly wants to accomplish in his lifetime.

Salud! Baila, baila!

Over the course of this summer, Patrick and I have both begun to explore our personal interests freely, for the first time in our lives. From starting an art promotions company together, to making more time for leisure activities we enjoy, [like going to art museums and having family BBQs], to opening ourselves up to meeting new people and making a point to take part in new life experiences as often as possible...

Despite our hit-the-ground-running attitude toward life in Texas, not everyone felt their path was in the same state.

The youngest of our sibling trinity, Joey, moved back to Oklahoma a month ago. It's something I've chosen not to talk about too much because it breaks my heart that he isn't on this journey with us. When Joey left, he said it was because he was happier in Oklahoma. I'm still trying to figure out how that could be possible. I have to remind myself that everyone's idea of happiness is different and that truly loving someone means encouraging them in their version of happiness, even if you don't share the same vision.

Patrick and I haven't really spoken to Joey much since he moved. Hopefully he's truly happy living in Oklahoma again.

At the end of the day that's all that matters; Happiness.

~

So now with the return of football on TV and school supplies on sale at Wal-Mart, I can sense Summer 2010 winding down. I made a personal goal to myself at the beginning of the summer to have the first draft of my memoir/script written by the end of the season so I could begin work-shopping it this fall.

I'm running short on time in keeping that promise to myself.

Next Monday, Adam is scheduled for a full week of visitation with his father. Thanks to Ms. Amanda Star, a friend and co-worker from Starbucks, I also have all of next week off from work. Starting Monday night, August 16, 2010 to Friday morning, August 20, 2010, I plan to go into complete seclusion. This means NO PHONE and NO ONLINE SOCIAL NETWORKING, so that I can concentrate 100% on finishing the first draft of my script. I plan to not only finish the script, but also to journal the experience of spending that much time alone. It will be the first time in my life I've gone an entire week without my phone, Twitter, Facebook and Myspace. The week of seclusion should be a separate story all on its own.

Get it? Seclusion...all on its own.

Now that I've humored myself and found some balance and reason to the season, I'm off to catch the last part of the Perseid meteor shower. I did the same thing around this time last year when I still lived in Oklahoma. That night, as I sat in my mothers driveway by myself, I saw one of the meteors shoot across the sky from east to west, like a blazing, pastel blue flame. It was the first time I saw a shooting star go across the sky instead of fall from the sky, so I made a wish on it.

In this moment, I just realized that wish came true.

A boy with a coin he crammed in his jeans
Then making a wish he tossed in the sea
Walked to a town that all of us burn
When God left the ground to circle the world
--Boy With a Coin / IRON & WINE