One Hundred Billion

"As processions fade, new hearts doubt."
-- Walking Through the Door / FUTURE ISLANDS


Starting over for the one hundred billionth time in your life is never easy. It becomes repetitive when you're constantly changing your plans. It's true what they say; The more things change, the more things stay the same. I just never thought I fell into that cliche, though here I am, starting over again. It's hard not to feel disgusted because I feel like I should already be past this phase in my life, at my age.

I would love to know what stability feels like, at least once before I die.

The presence of stability would be a true change in my life. There's no telling how I would react if it found it's way into my every day. Chances are, my first reaction would be to run in the other direction because stability is a stranger to me, [stranger danger].  But after I was introduced to it and became familiar with it, I'd do my best to keep it a constant in my life.

If I liked it that is, because who's to say I'd like stability once I got to know it?

One hundred billion possibilities abound when you're starting your life over for the one hundred billionth time. I'm hoping to discover only one of those possibilities though.