A copy of the book House of Leaves, written by POE's brother, Mark Z. Danielewski, has been in my possession for several months now. I've tried to read it like a regular book from start to finish, and have failed successfully at every attempt. [Which, I attest to honestly, has only been once since the book found it's way into my home].
I came across the copy because of Ryan, the true owner of the book. He made a point to hunt down his lent out copy when he was telling me about it and I told him I never read it. He was stunned, and once he recovered the copy, he wasted no time in passing the book on to me, and insisted that I read it as soon as possible.
RYAN: (Hands LIZ the book.)I didn't understand why he was pushing me to read House of Leaves so badly. [That, and, On Writing: A Memoir of The Craft, by Stephen King.] I couldn't recall ever having issues with reading in my life. I was constantly reading as a child and snatched up free pizza certificates left and right in elementary school thanks to Pizza Hut's Book-It program. Why was he so adamant on convincing me to read?
LIZ: (Opens the book directly to the middle, stares at the page, then turns it and fingers through the the pages of the book, out of order.) The format is kinda neat. (Shuts the book and begins studying the cover.) It's pretty big...
RYAN: If you want to be a good writer you have to read too.
LIZ: Why?
RYAN: Because you have to know about other authors and other styles of writing.
LIZ: If you say so...
I approached the book with a questionable attitude when he told me to read it. Mainly because I couldn't see any other reason to read it except for the sole sake of reading it.
Why on earth would I do something for the sole sake of doing it?
I do what I want. [That's very post-modern of me, I believe.]
I took the copy of House of Leaves from Ryan to appease him and to have the book in my home court. In my mind, I thought if I had the copy it would be up to me to decide ultimately what to do with it. I exercised the right to do as I pleased when Ryan left, and I immediately hid the book in my house, deep in the back of a cabinet, downstairs.
Out of sight, out of mind.
Months passed by and Ryan had forgotten about the book while it continued to stay locked away in it's temporary housing. I almost forgot about it too, until a few days ago. I was at home alone, listening to an internet radio station when I heard part of a POE song. Her lyrics from the song, Haunted, jolted my memory:
There's always a way,
here in November, in this
house of leaves,
we'll pray.
here in November, in this
house of leaves,
we'll pray.
I'm a huge fan of her music and heard years ago that her album, Haunted, accompanied a book. I never knew it was House of Leaves, until I was reminded of the two from hearing the song snippet. I researched my assumption for official confirmation and learned that they were, in fact, very connected.
Haunted is my favorite POE album. The style of the music is eclectic, but the main reason I love the album is because I like the twisted and dark lyrical themes. The exhibition of the themes by way of overindulging in flashbacks from youth spoke honestly to me. Sounds creepy on it's own but thanks to the sweetly feminine sound of POE, her voice serves as a night light on the dark content. And with a night light on, the dark themes are less terrifying to approach as opposed to trying to find them like unknown noises heard in the middle of the night, in pitch darkness.
Now that I knew the two pieces of artwork were connected; the music and the book; I walked downstairs to the cabinet and pulled the book out from it's solitary confinement. The cover was slightly dusty so I wiped it off and stared at it. I became distracted with the encyclopedia size of the book just as I had the first time I saw it. It wasn't merely the physical size of the book that I was concerned with anymore. Upon confirmation of the connection between Haunted and House of Leaves, I learned that the content of the book was twisted and dark too.
Haunted complements the book, but it's not going to help me find my way through the tangled confusion of ideas printed on the book's pages. I could live happier having never learned that the two pieces of art went hand in hand. Because if I still didn't know, I wouldn't feel compelled to read the book. In fact, putting the two together has become the bane of my existence over the past couple of days. [Well, at least one of the multiple banes of my existence.]
Despite having an actual interest in reading the book, now I am afraid to read it.
What if I get lost in the Olympic sized book? What if it swallows me up whole and I'm never seen or heard from again? What if it turned me against writing?
Last and most importantly;
What if I read it and discover it was a complete waste of time?
But I'm already wasting my time on it.
Too bad there isn't a Book-It program for adults.
By the way
when the landlord came today
he measured everything.
I knew he'd get it wrong
but I just played along
because I was hoping
that he would fix it all.
-- 5 &1/2 Minute Hallway / POE
book-it is the mad-note yo!
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