Where do I begin?

The past two weeks have been stressful. Point blank. The climax of the shittiest day in Texas happened yesterday, close to sundown. I was with my little brother near TCC South Campus, walking around in an open field area. He sat on the ground as our conversation turned into an argument. I'm sure I looked like an escaped mental patient to anyone who may have witnessed the event. I was standing over him; arms flailing all around, crying and screaming for about 30 minutes. I'll admit, I wanted to seriously injure my little brother for not taking care of his responsibilities; nearly causing us to get evicted from our house.

Thankfully no one could hear us so we had our chance to yell it out, come to an understanding, and we buried it in that open field.

We're a family. That's just how it is:  You love, you get on each others nerves, you hash it out, then you forgive. It's an infinite circle. As long as you continue to live by that belief, I believe your love and bonds will last eternally. We rise together and we fall together. As for yesterday, we almost fell on our faces, simultaneously. But just before midnight, my brothers and I discussed different solutions on how to fix the problem, and finally came up with an answer. We rose above the crappy situation, together.

Even with the issue solved, I felt unsettled. The threat of having to move again evoked interesting feelings from me. Particularly, for the rest of the night, I couldn't stop replaying something I said during my meltdown in the field;

I feel more hopeless right now than I can remember feeling last year and this isn't even a big deal!! People DIED last year!!! No one's dead this time!! Why do I feel like this?!?!

Within that hopelessness, I realized I officially have something to start my list of: "What I want". I want a home. When I say that, I don't mean it in a material sense. There are several physical locations I call home. I want to feel home; familiar, comfortable, safe, relaxed... centered. "At home", would probably be a better way of explaining it.

I want to feel at home. 

I have no idea how I'm going to get there, but I have a start.
So that's where I begin.