"Just like that..."

Lazy Sunday, and I'm getting ready to head back to DFW tomorrow. The few days I've spent in Oklahoma flew by fast. I spent the majority of my visit with the two most important people in my life; my mother and Adam. I also got to see my favorites; Brandi, Jana, Amanda, Tiffani, and Blake. It felt good to see all of their familiar smiles. Friday, I met up with my ex-husband AJ, for his visitation time with Adam. Our brief chit-chat left me with a bit of solace, for the first time in a while.

I must confess, coming home this time was somber. That perception has nothing to do with anyone except for myself. Up until now, I continued question whether or not leaving Oklahoma was the right thing to do. I kept feeling like there was something I still hadn't finished there, like loose ends hanging in mid-air. 

I couldn't shake the feeling all weekend, until Saturday evening, sitting in almost complete silence with my mother. We were watching T.V in the living room.; me on the couch, and her across from me on the love seat. We weren't really watching T.V., but it served as white noise to soften the dead air. She was working on her crossword puzzle and I was reading a Cosmo magazine. Finally, I broke our silent vow.

"I don't know what I'm doing here." I said. 

She leaned over and picked up the remote control off the carpet, then turned down the white noise; "I don't want to seem rude, like I don't like having you around, but you don't need to come back and forth anymore. Adam and I are okay. He's coming back to live with you in May. You need to finish getting yourself settled in Texas until then." 

I wanted to offer a rebuttal, but as she began turning up the T.V. volume, I realized I had nothing to contest. Just like that, my purpose for being in Oklahoma came to its end.