The lioness has rejoined her cub, and all is right in the jungle.

Let's recap the week, shall we?

In the past (7) days, I've cried more than (6) times, went through at least (5) packs of cigarettes, told (4) people I was, "okay", began counseling (3) days ago, talked about (2) events from the past year that have been lingering in the back of my mind, only to have (1) person make me feel like the past week was worth it just to see his smiling face at my door, today. Of course it was my Adam<3

There was tons more that happened in the past week, but summing it up in the above sequence seemed like a fun way to make light of it all. Well, I say the sequence was the light, but really, it was Adam that was the light at the end of the tunnel. Or in some cases, the light that helps you dig your way out of your own coffin, to be resurrected from [what could have been] your death.

I think its truly amazing how pure, unconditional love really does triumph over even the worst of situations, on the screen and in reality. It's not a dreamy concept; "love conquers all". The only dreamy part is about finding that kind of love within your lifetime. It's a rarity. I feel lucky to have found it in my lifetime, and to be able to share it with my Adam<3.

Now that he's back from Oklahoma, I feel like my universe is centered once again, despite the inner turmoil that I've been dealing with lately. Going to counseling to face and work through my issues seems less scary and feels like it has a meaning when Adam is with me. I feel like I'm not getting better solely for myself, but for Adam too, so we can both live to our happiest, fullest extent. Truthfully, after my first session of counseling, I felt a release of anxiety I'd been holding. However, the cleared out space from anxiety was quickly filled with resentful blame disdain. That isn't healthy either, as it's still a form of carrying negativity, even if the blame isn't targeted at myself anymore.

This is me, still the same
No auto tune, but you can feel the pain
It all comes spilling out like I hit a vein

On another interesting note, the guy that stole tip money from me at work on Monday came into our store Friday afternoon. I didn't realize it was him until he was already at the register paying for a small cup of coffee. I considered calling security, but instead, I stopped mid-latte and stared at him until he noticed me. We made eye contact for what seemed like years. He put his head down and pulled out two dirty, crumpled up dollar bills from his dry, cracked, crippled hand, and he placed them in my tip jar. I wasn't sure what to make of the connection we made, but there was no denying that we had a strange, non-verbal meeting of the minds in another dimension of space and time, outside of the store. One thing was certain though, I forgave the thief.

That's not to say I trusted him, but I forgave him, and that's a start.

Don't believe the lies

Look me in my eyes

I remember you

This feeling isn't new

Please don't be scared of me.
-- Fear/DRAKE