Not asking how, but when do we start.

Today was my day off, and I slept in this morning until 11am. How terrible, right? I'm paying for it since I'm still in bed, drinking coffee and trying to wake up. I don't care though, because I feel 100 times better. I've got to admit, since I decided to embark on the back-to-the-past adventure of writing a memoir, my mind has been obsessed with picking up everything from the past year, deciding which memories are disposable and which ones are reusable. I'd include everything in my memoir, for content's sake, but that's impossible. Either way, its kept my recycle bin mind in busy mode.

Last night I asked Ryan to read what I had written so far, titled, The Prologue: SOUTHWESTERN MEDICAL CENTER. This is another one of those risks, another extension of self hoping to intertwine with the peace offerings he's already given to me. These invitations to read, critique and edit my memoir leave me exposed and vulnerable to him. From doing this, I see how he provides feedback, either positively or negatively, so I can gauge my trust in him. So far he's been open and honest, and seen more than I've been capable of seeing, in the things I've been embarrassed to share. He doesn't over-inflate or shred apart what I give him, both the pieces of my writing and the pieces of myself. 

Its different this time, rehashing the disasters of 2009 and estimating the total damage done. Instead of blankly staring at the destruction, he's assessing the mess and sees something beautiful and salvageable. He's kind of like the habitat for humanity of my heart, standing in front of me eagerly with hammer and nails in hand, not asking how, but when do we start.
 
There's something to be said about not feeling like you're the only person who sees HOPE as something real.



JOE DARKLY: So since his family is Mormon, does that mean you're going to become a Mormon too?
LIZ SWEETLY: No way! He's not even a practicing Mormon himself. I'd do lots of things for love, lots of things for romance, but I won't do that.
JOE DARKLY: So that's what Meatloaf was talking about.
LIZ SWEETLY: Exactly.