Its OUR adventure.

The past few weeks have been insanely busy. Between going back and forth to Oklahoma, my new 3 hr daily exercise routine, and work life, last nite was the first nite I’ve had to take a deep breath and take it all in. I think this upcoming week is the calm before the storm. I say storm, but I don’t mean that in a bad way. I’m looking forward to working with Kernel Major, and I really believe that through this opportunity, I’m advancing closer to my dream career goals. Sometimes, I get so busy and wrapped up in everything, that when I finally sit down and realize how much further I am than the last time I took a deep breath, I tend to get nostalgic. Nostalgia kills me and resurrects me, always.

~

I’ve enjoyed starting my new exercise routine, though the elements have made it tougher at times. I don’t have the money for a gym membership, so I’ve been running in the downtown area. The first day was amazing. I took pics of every little interesting thing I came across, and made small talk with all the locals I met. But the silver lining on being a young woman, alone, in a highly urbanized area soon faded as I was solicited for sex on Day2. It wouldn’t have shook me as much as it did, except after the man driving asked me to get in his car once, and I declined, he drove around the block and came back around and asked me if I was sure I didn’t want money. “FUCK YOU ASSHOLE! I DON’T WANT YOUR FUCKING MONEY!! IF YOU DON’T STOP FOLLOWING ME I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD I’M GOING TO CALL THE COPS!!”, and I quickly grabbed my cell phone from the front pocket on the strap of my backpack. He began to drive away. When I looked down at my phone, my heart dropped. It was dead. Thankfully, the perv on wheels was gone, but there was no guarantee he wasn’t coming back for round three. I ran home as fast as I could.

“You’re too naïve about going downtown by yourself and that’s going to get you in some serious trouble if you don’t stop”, my older brother barked at me. I’ve always known this, but I didn’t think I was doing anything wrong by running alone. There shouldn’t be anything wrong with that, but because of people like that scary asshole who didn’t want to take, “FUCK NO”, for an answer, I have to worry. That sucks. Since then, my little brother, Joey, has appointed himself as my full time bodyguard. It’s sweet actually, to see him walking a few feet behind me as I run through downtown and along the Trinity River Trailway. Sometimes he runs too. Sometimes he walks and watches out for our surroundings. I haven’t really told him yet how much it means to me that he tags along on my adventures. Now its not just MY adventure anymore, its OUR adventure. Part of being here was for that purpose; to re-establish my bonds with my brothers, so we can be a strong sibling trinity. What better place to do it than along the banks of the Trinity River?

~

When Joey and I got home today from running yesterday, we trudged up the stairs and plopped down into the chairs in the living room. He immediately turned on the TV and began channel surfing. We didn’t speak for several minutes, allowing the commercials from the channel stations to bridge the gap in between us. He picked up his laptop and began browsing around on the internet. I was still sitting in the recliner staring at the TV, wondering why he stopped channel surfing on CMT. “You’re pretty awesome Beth”, he said to me. I turned my head to look at him and he was smiling. I was startled at his statement; I almost didn’t know how to respond. I returned his smile; “You’re more awesome than I am, you just don’t know it yet.” We both stayed frozen in that smiling moment, until retreating back into our electronic devices.

I picked up the remote control and started flipping through channels. I stopped when I came to an old movie, “The Temptations”, on VH1. It took me a minute, but I remembered why that movie was so familiar to me. My dad used to watch it every time it aired. Growing up in our house, my dad was the master of the TV, so whatever he was watching, we had to watch. (Which, fyi, explains my obsession with Stanley Kubrick films and every ROCKY movie.)

I hadn’t had a recollection montage of my father in a few weeks. At least not like this type of nostalgic apparition. I kept myself from crying. Joey looked over at me, realizing I had left it on the movie. “Dad would’ve made us watch it anyway”, I said.

I got up from the recliner, washed my hands, and began cooking dinner. Joey stayed glued to his laptop. It was pretty reminiscent. I was happy that neither of us experienced that nostalgic moment alone.